who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
