Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
