I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
