did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
