and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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