You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
