Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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