all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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