I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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