I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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