You're so nebulous sometimes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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