Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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