it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
