3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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