mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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