Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
