He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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