Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
