508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize