my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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