brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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