I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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