please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
