I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
