You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
