Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
