My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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