My friends, they love my intelligence
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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