Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Are we still banned from the library?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
