apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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