You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
