I wish I could teleport
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
