I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
