Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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