I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
