Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
