guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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