she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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