...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
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