so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
