only if we run a train.
done.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
