I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
