My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
