dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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