New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
