needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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