cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
