Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
