Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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