If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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