I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
