well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
