you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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