The maid of honor just puked.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.