i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".