I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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