A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
