The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
