what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
