I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
