Will you blow on my dice?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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