all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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