we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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