Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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