Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
