i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
