He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize