I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
