On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize