dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize